Cost Saving Memo



Memorandum

To: All Hospital Employees

From: Administration

Effective immediately, this hospital will no longer provide security.
Each Charge Nurse will be issued with a .38 caliber revolver and 12
rounds of ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in the
pharmacy. In addition to routine nursing duties, Charge Nurses will
patrol the hospital grounds 3 times each shift. In light of the
similarity of monitoring equipment, the Critical Care Units will now
assume security surveillance duties. The unit secretary will be
responsible for watching cardiac and security monitors, as well as
continuing previous secretarial duties.

Food service will be discontinued. Patients wishing to be fed will need
to let their families know to bring them something, or make arrangements
with Subway, Dominos, Wendy's, or another outside food preparation
facility, prior to mealtime. Coin-operated telephones will be available
in the patient rooms for this purpose, as well as for calls the patient
may wish to make.

Housekeeping and Physical Therapy are being combined. Mops will be
issued to those patients who are ambulatory, thus providing range of
motion exercise, as well as a clean environment. Families and ambulatory
patients may also register to clean the room of non-ambulatory patients
for discounts on their bill. Time cards will be provided to those
registered.

Nursing Administration is assuming the grounds keeping duties. If a
Nursing Supervisor cannot be reached by phone or beeper, it is
suggested to listen for the sound of the lawn mower, weed eater,
or leaf blower.

Engineering will also be eliminated. The Hospital has subscribed to the
Time-Life series of "How to..." maintenance books. These books may be
checked out from Administration. Also, a toolbox of standard equipment
will be issued to all Nursing Units. We will be receiving the volumes at
a rate of one per month, and have received the volume on basic wiring.
If a non-electrical problem occurs, please try to repair it as best as
possible until that particular volume arrives.

Cutbacks in Phlebotomy staff will be accommodated by only performing
blood-related laboratory studies on patients already bleeding.

Physicians will be informed that they may order no more than two (2)
X-rays per patient per stay. This is due to the turn-around time
required by the local Photmat. Two prints will be provided for the price
of one and physicians are encouraged to clip coupons from the Sunday
paper if more prints are desired. Photomat will also honor competitors
coupons for one-hour processing in an emergency. If employees come
across any coupons, they are encouraged to clip them and send them to
the Emergency Room.

In light of the extremely hot summer temperatures, the local Electric
Company has been asked to install individual meters in each patient room
so that electrical consumption can be monitored and appropriately
billed. Fans may be rented or purchased in the Gift Shop.

In addition to the current recycling programs, a bin for the collection
of unused fruit and bread will soon be provided on each floor. Families,
patients and the few remaining staff are encouraged to contribute
discarded produce. The resulting moldy compost will be utilized by the
pharmacy for nosocomial production of antibiotics. These antibiotics
will be available for purchase though the hospital pharmacy, and will,
coincidentally, soon be the only antibiotics listed in the hospital's
formulary.

Although these cutbacks and changes may appear drastic on the surface,
the Administration feels that over time we will all benefit from this
latest cost cutting measures.