- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk."
- Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts.
- He keeps accidentally referring to himself as "the defendant."
- After examining you, he says, "Now do me."
- He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.
- He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as "drumsticks."
- His examination room is Room 201 at the No-Tell Motel.
- He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, "Doctor Jim Beam."
- Before surgery, he asks if you want this "to go."
- He tries to color your X-rays with crayons.