Overheard At Medieval Medical School

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Overheard At Medieval Medical School

  • "Today class, let's open our convicted criminals to rib two."

  • "Don't bite it! You need to swallow it alive for it to work!"

  • "They should translate these obscure medical terms into something easy, like Latin."

  • "It may seem like pointless superstition to you youngsters, but I haven't washed these hands since my first delivery 37 years ago."

  • "What do you mean we're out of wild boar snout?!?"

  • "Headache? Take two spotted salamanders and call me in the morning."

  • "Arthur, Schmarthur. What kind of insurance dost thou have?"

  • "Verily, it would seem our instructor Master Bush knoweth not the name of *any* disease!"

  • "Good woman Thurmond, to you a son is born. 'Strom' shall he be called."

  • "Put down that dwarf and hand me the pliers!"

  • "Now, remove the speculum from the fire and insert it thusly..."

  • "No, no, push that yellow stuff back in. That's pus from the *good* fairy!"

  • "Good knight, thy speed at treating boils is unsurpassed in all the kingdom! Thou shalt be called 'Sir Lance-a-lot'."

  • "Come now Hypoglycies, how can too much sugar possibly be bad for you?"

  • "Gesundheit! Now be sure to wipe that off his liver."

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