Jokes From Emails

Jokes From Emails

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Sign from above... A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her....
Signs That You Are No Longer A Kid ** You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
** You can live without sex but not without glasses....
Lost... A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me?...
You Might Be A Redneck If... ** The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
** You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. **...
Fishing For A Week A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up.
I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right awa...
Aren't Kids Great? The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers.
He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with...
Things Not To Say To A Cop ** I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
(OK in Texas) ** Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in....
Betty Crocker A husband is watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
It's been flickering for weeks now." He looks at her and says angrily, "Fi...
McDonald's Application This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!
(editor's note: I would have hired him too!!) NAME: Lets call...
Naughty Johnny It is near the end of the school year, the teacher has written her reports, and there's really nothing to do.
All the kids are restless because it's Friday afternoon and not much is hap...

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