Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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Q: Why does Dolly Parton have such a small waist? A: Nothing grows in the shade.
Two construction workers were working on the 58th floor of a new high-rise.
One of them looked at the other and said, "I'll be right back - I have to go take a piss....
Then there was the guy whose roommate caught him pouring beer in his hand.
"What are you doing?" he asked. "I wanna score tonight," the roommate with the beer replied, "so I'm getting my date drunk....
Q: Why did the hillbilly trade his wife in for an outhouse?
A: Because the hole was a little smaller, and it smelled a little nicer....
Q: How many lawyers does it take to unclog a toliet?
A: Three. Two to hold his legs, and one to dive below and suck....
The doctor told his patient "I have bad news and worse news for you, what do you want to hear first?
The patient replied, "What's the bad news?" The doctor said, "Your tests have come back and we'v...
I used to be into S & M, bestiality, and necrophilia, but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse .
.....
Dirty Ernie: "Mom, I didn't know you could take apart a nurse.
Mom: "What do you mean?" Dirty Ernie: "I heard dad telling Mr....
The other day I was getting out a sweater and the label said it was made of 100% Virgin Acrylic, honest.
What's virgin acrylic? Is it made out of vinyl flooring that never got laid?...
Seen written in a very shaky hand: "Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

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