Quip Snips

Quip Snips

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History books say the Declaration of Independence was largely written by Thomas Jefferson.
From looking at it we'd say it was even more largely written by John Hancock....
Of the 56 Declaration of Independence signers, 23 were lawyers.
It was one way to guarantee it would have appeal....
Still, the Founding Fathers weren't so great. For instance, we find no evidence any of them could break dance.
We suppose the name goes back to the first person whose hut was burned to the ground, causing him to point and say, "Look!
Fire works!...
Some Declaration of Independence signers had unusual first names, such as Button, Caesar and Elbridge.
But the guy they sent it to had an odd first name, too: King....
The Founding Fathers had some things easier. For instance, on July 4 nights they never had to protect their homes from nuts with bottle rockets.
Geologists say they've found an earthquake fault within 3 miles of Mr.
Reagan's ranch. Just 3 miles? How does he do it? Even THAT can't be called Reagan's Fault....
The man at the next desk, back from vacation, says you can't hold the ocean up to your ear and hear sea shells.
The new national debt ceiling will be $1,573 billion.
Or, put another way, $1.573 trillion. Or, another way, aaarrrggghhh!!!...
It ought to be easier than it is to govern a 208-year-old country in which people are willing to pay scalpers' prices for concert tickets that started out at scalpers' prices.

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