Best Fortunes

Best Fortunes

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Megaton Man: "LOOK at them! Helpless, tender creatures, relying on ME, waiting for ME to make my move!
(from below): "Move your ASS, Fat-head!" Megaton Man: "It is a MANDATE, and I am DUTY...
Missionary Position: The missionary on top.
Most legislators are so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.
Motto of the Electrical Engineer: Working computer hardware is a lot like an erect peni
it stays up as long as you don't fuck with it....
My brother-in-law has found a way to make ends meet.
He goes around with his head stuck up his ass....
My country, right or wrong," is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case.
It is like saying, "My mother, drunk or sober." -- G. K. Chesterto...
My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey
my family, it seems, begins where yours left off. -- Alexandre Dumas, pere...
Nancy Reagan wants divorce old Ron ... seems he's making it hard for everyone but her.
NEW ADDITION TO THE LIBRARY: "Sally", the department's new inflatable doll, is available on a short-term removal basis only -- please sign her out and return her promptly to avoid extended waits.

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