Homer Simpson

Homer Simpson

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It's a fixer-upper. What's the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here .
.. -- Homer Simpson Treehouse of Horro...
It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise, the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.
-- Homer Simpson Lisa on Ice...
It's wonderful, it's magical. Oh boy, here it comes.
Another mouth. -- Homer Simpson And Maggie Makes Three...
I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky, too, because it's spanking season, and I got a hankering for some spankering!
-- Homer Simpson Two Dozen and One Greyhound...
Aw, being a clown sucks. You get kicked by kids, bit by dogs, and admired by the elderly.
Who am I clowning? I have no business being a clown!...
Ah, so that's what's been wrong with the little fella.
He misses casual sex. -- Homer Simpson Two Dozen and One Greyhound...
Who spread garbage all over Flanders's yard before I got a chance to?
-- Homer Simpson Two Dozen and One Greyhound...
Homer: I suppose you want to probe me. Well, you might as well get it over with.
Kang: Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us....
You see, there are some crybabies out there -- religious types mostly -- who might be offended.
If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your set now....
He gets it from your side of the family, you know. No monsters on my side.
-- Homer Simpson Treehouse of Horror II...

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