The Simpsons

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Lovejoy: Now, for our offertory reading, Lisa Simpson -- who we'll all be keeping an eye on.
Lisa: I know most of you have already judged my brother guilty without any proof, bu...
Lisa: There is someone among us with a guilty conscience.
After much soul-searching I decided it would be wrong of me to name names....
Skinner: _That's_ the collection money! Moe: [sniffs it] Oh yeah, smells like church.
Lovejoy: I guess it's obvious what's happened here....
Bart: Hi Jessica. Jessica: Hi Bart. Come to watch me suffer?
Bart: I just wanted to let you know that even though this was a difficult experience, I really learned a lot....
Announcer: It's "Channel Six Action News." [several explosions are shown] Ba
Ah, Action News. The last place an impressionable kid can go for TV violence....
Bart: All right! Snow day. No school tomorrow! [throws his schoolbook on the fire] Lisa
That doesn't mean you don't have to do your book report. What if the weatherma...
Bart: You're going to eat a blizzard of...[looks around] unseasonable warmth?
Lisa: I made the snowball from the frost in our freezer!...
Edna: OK, it's book report time. We'll do them alphabetically.
Today it's A through M. Bart: I'm saved!...
Skinner: Children, the times they are a-becoming quite different.
Test scores are at an all-time low, so I've come up with these academic alerts....
Skinner: All right, first academic alert: Wiggum, Ralph.
Ralph: I won, I won! [walks on stage] Skinner: No no, Ralph, this means you're failing English....

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