Toggle navigation
Collections
Fun
Jokes
Fortune
Photo
Nicknames
Blog
ﻮﺑﻻگ
Iran
The Simpsons
Home
›
Fortune Cookies
›
The Simpsons
Bart: Aw, damn FDA! Why can't it all be marshmallows?
Lisa: Ew! Bart, don't put the non-marshmallow pieces back in the box....
Homer: Ooh, you like sweets, kids? I know a place that's sweeter than sweetness itself.
In this sweet place, earthly donuts are sour as poison -- you'd spit them out, you would!...
Bart: Can I come to the candy show, huh, huh? Can I, can I?
Huh, huh, huh? Can I? Can I? Lisa: No, me!...
Marge: Homer, are all these pockets necessary? Home
They wouldn't be if you were willing to sit in a hollowed-out wheelchair!...
doorbell rings] Marge: Oh, that's the babysitter. No one in town will sit for you two any more.
I had to choose between a grad student at the university and a scary-looking hobo. ...
Lisa: [gasps] Ashley Grant! You gave a talk on women's issues at my school on how we don't have to be second-class citizens.
Bart: [indignant] Mom! How can you leave us with this maniac? Hom...
Bart: So...you're one of those "Don't call me a chick" chicks, huh?
Lisa: Ehh, sorry about my unenlightened brother....
Man: [over PA] Mr. Goodbar to the front desk. The front desk is looking for Mr.
Goodbar. Homer: Ooh! I feel like a kid in some kind of a store....
Frink: As you can see, I have created a lemon ball so sour, it can only be safely contained in a magnetic field.
The candy, known as 77X42 is -- hey! [looks in case] Where the hell'...
Man: {Hey, sir! Try our wax lips: the candy of 1000 uses.
} Homer: {[skeptical] Like what?} Man: {One, a humorous substitute for your own lips....
< previous
...
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
...
654
next >