The Simpsons

Hey, hey, wait up! We gotta swap insurance info!
-- Chief Wiggum after a car crash, "Twenty-Two Short Films About Springfield...
Lovejoy: C'mon boy, this is the spot, right here. That's a good boy, do your dirty sinful business.
Ned: Well, howdy, Reverend Lovejoy. Nice to see you there ... on my lawn ......
Ned: [notes Marge squeezing a grapefruit] Marge Simpson!
Still making juice the old-fashioned way? [actually, Marge is squeezing it on Lisa's hair] Lisa...
Hey, what's going on on this side?
-- Cletus pokes his head through a TV cue card, "Twenty-Two Short Films About Springfield...
Cletus: Hey, Brandine! You might could wear these to your job interview.
Brandine: And scuff up the topless dancin' runway?...
on top of a telephone pole] Cletus: Hey you know what?
I could call my ma while I'm up here. [yelling] Hey, maw!...
I finally look like a real person!
-- Lisa, "Twenty-Two Short Films About Springfield" (meta-humor alert)...
Wadlow: [lifts Nelson out of the sewer by his head] Do you find something comical about my appearance when I'm driving my automobile?
Nelson: Yeah. Wadlow: Everyone needs to drive a...
Wadlow: Hey, everybody! Look at this -- it's that boy who laughs at everyone.
[Nelson] Let's laugh at him! Crowd: HA-ha!...
Abe: [spits] Bart: Grampa! I don't mind when you spit at home, but I have to work with these people.
Abe: Oh, jabberjack. Schoolhouse don't put up spittoons, I ain't responsible. [spits] ...

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