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Homer: I'm just a big fool. Karl: Oh no, you're not.
Homer: How do you know? Karl: Because my mother taught me never to kiss a fool!...
Homer: [ahem] A lot of you would think I was crazy if I did this.
[burns a dollar bill] Burns: He's crazy! -- Homer gives a speech, "Simpson and Delilah...
Some nerve, telling us how to run the plant. He doesn't even have hair!
-- Executive watches Homer's presentation, "Simpson and Delilah...
card #56 reads: "And the long-term benefits more than offset the one-time costs, for a net savings of $
526,000." Homer: And the long-term benefits more than offset the one-time costs, for a...
Burns: Simpson, how old do you think I am? Homer: I dunno.
A hundred and two? Burns: [sadly] I'm only eighty-one....
Burns: I'm giving you your old job back. Homer: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Burns: Now get out of here before I reconsider. Home...
Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled! [walks to the front of the room] Well, as Mrs.
Krabappel already mentioned, the name of the book that I read is &l...
Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted. Is this a book report or a witch hunt?
-- Bart takes offence when Mrs....
I will not fake my way through life. -- Bart's blackboard punishment, "Bart Gets an F
Ms.K: Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of the term.
Are you aware of that? Bart: Yes, ma'am. Ms.K...
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