The Simpsons

Homer: Look, I'm supposed to get a physics tutor. Nerd 1
Well, you've come to the right place then. If there's one thing we know, it is science....
Homer: We played Dungeons & Dragons for three hours!
Then I was slain by an elf. Bart: Listen to yourself, ma...
Nerd 1: Come on, Mr. Simpson, you'll never pass this course if you don't know the periodic table.
Homer: Ehh, I'll write it on my hand. Nerd 1: Ho! Including all known lanthanides and actini...
Homer: Come on, guys. Look at yourselves! All you do is study.
I'm going to show you the true meaning of college...
Ah, the college road-trip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem?
-- Homer, "Homer Goes to College...
Marge: If you're going for a ride, I'd like you to take Bart and Lisa.
Homer: [plaintively] But Marge, we're college guys and we're up to no good....
Nerd 2: I need to go to the bathroom! Lisa: We stopped five minutes ago!
Nerd 2: Yeah, but someone knocked on the door and I couldn't go....
Nerd 1: Hey, the pig's acting kind of funny. Nerd 2
He and Mr. Simpson split a case of malt liquor. Nerd 3...
Dean: I'm sorry, boys, I've -- I've never expelled anyone before, but.
..that pig had some powerful friends. Nixon: [bitterly] Oh, you'll pay....
Homer: Guys, believe me, I didn't mean to get you expelled.
Nerd 3: Oh, don't worry, Mr. Simpson, we can take care of ourselves....