The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Lisa: Wait! Doesn't my father have the right to a fair trial?
Flanders: Oh, you Americans with your due process and fair trials....
Marge: [looking at phone book] Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers.
..oh! Lionel Hutz. "Cases won in 30 minutes or your pizza's free....
Marge: Homer! Are you all right? Homer: [meekly] No.
Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night....
Hear Ye, Hear Ye. The Court of Infernal Affairs is now in session.
-- The Grim Reaper speaks, "Treehouse of Horror IV...
Hutz: First some ground rules. Number one, we get bathroom breaks every half-hour.
Flanders: Agreed. Number two, the jury will be chosen by me....
Flanders: I give you the Jury of the Damned! Benedict Arnold, Lizzie Borden, Richard Nixon -- Nixo
But I'm not dead yet! In fact, I just wrote an article for Redbook. Flande...
John Wilkes Booth, Blackbeard the Pirate, John Dillinger, and the starting line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers!
-- Satan introduces the jury, "Treehouse of Horror IV...
Marge: [next to the high chair] I'm sorry, Mr. Blackbeard.
We're low on chairs, and this is the last one....
I hold here a contract between myself and one Homer Simpson pledging me his soul for a donut -- which I delivered!
And it was scrump-diddley- umptious! -- The Satan/Flanders beast, "Treehouse of Ho...
Flanders: I simply ask for what is mine! [He sits down smugly] Hutz
[cocky] That was a right-pretty speech, sir. But I ask you, what is a contract?...

< previous

15

16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
654
next >