The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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Otto: My standards are just too high, you know? I feel like nobody's good enough for me.
[a flea falls from his hair] Oh....
Smithers: Mr. Simpson, are you listening? [Homer eats an orange] Simpson?
! Homer: Huh? Yeah, I was listening. Very funny....
Homer: [seeing everyone leaving] Oh, I told Marge this wouldn't work the other night in bed!
[everyone hears "bed", turns around, interested] Moe: So something wasn't working i...
Homer: I went on for hours, and they were hanging on my every word!
I really think I was born to teach. Wiggum...
Apu: Oh, Mrs. Simpson: it may interest to you to know we're having a sale on blue dye #52.
It is your hair color, I believe. Marge: Whatever do you mean?...
Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your class.
Homer: Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. Marge...
Homer: Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary describes a wedding as, "The process of removing weeds from one's garden.
[everyone groans] Moe: Tell us more about y...
Homer: I _do_ have a story about two other young marrieds.
.. [everyone turns back and sits down] Now, the wife of this couple has an interesting quirk in the bedroom....
Marge: Oh, Homer, don't you have to get to class? Home
Not tonight, Marge. Tonight, we can eat a nice leisurely dinner at home....
Homer: So, little Lisa, apple of my eye: how are things down at the old schoolhouse?
Lisa: I find this demeaning and embarrassing beyond my worst nightmares....

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