What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook - they eat. We clean - they dirty. We iron - they wrinkle.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE, He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.