Miscellaneous Jokes

How many consultants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday....
How many contras does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but he needs one Iranian, one Israeli, four Canadians, an Arab, twenty Swiss, and Afghan, and Oliver North to help him....
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) None. It turned itself in. 2) Just one, but he is never around when you need him....
How many cryonicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four....
How many data base people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three....
How many DEC employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2 People - Preliminary discussion on concept of change....
How many disarmament folks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They won't, because: 1. "If we change our bulb, they will just change theirs to a brighter one, so where will it all end?...
How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare....
How many dope addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to roll it and one to light it up....
How many dull people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

138