The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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Marge: A tombstone?! Patty: It came with the burial plot, but that's not importa
he important thing is, Homer's dead. Selma...
Homer: Listen here: my name is Homer J. Simpson. You guys think I'm dead, but I'm not.
Homer: Mom, I'm sorry I never come to see you. I'm just not a cemetery person.
Here lies" -- Walt Whitman?! Aargh!...
Grandma: Homer, you grew up so handsome. Homer: Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd.
I can't believe you're here! Dad always told me you died while I was at the movies....
Homer: Hey, everybody! I've got a big surprise for you!
Presenting...my mother! [everyone drops their food and talks incredulously] Grandma...
Homer: This is my room, and this is my dresser. It's where I keep my shirts when I'm not wearing them.
Grandma: Oh, yes, right in the drawers. [they both laugh] Homer: [sighing]...
Grandma: I saw all your awards, Lisa. They're mighty impressive.
Lisa: Aw, I just keep them out to bug Bart, heh....
Lisa: [turning on dryer] There, now no one should be able to hear us.
Bart: What? Lisa: [turning off dryer] All right, we don't need the dryer....
Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge...
Marge: Mother Simpson, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your past.
Grandma: Can't reminisce, sleeping. [snores] Ba...

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