The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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Apu: [grabs a tofu dog off the grill] Quick, quick, no time to cook them -- they will plump in my stomach.
[quickly eats the hot dog] [drinks some beer quickly and burps] [spo...
Swing Serenade" is brought to you by Gorman's Ear Guards.
GUARD YOUR EARS! -- with Gorman's....
Lisa: Mom, someone threw gum in my hair. Marge: Are you sure?
Maybe it's just shampoo. That washes right out....
Wait, if I remember my Heloise, the trick to getting out gum.
.. is peanut butter....
Burns: [looking up from his magazine] Smithers, what's the meaning of this slacking off?
Smithers: Uh, there's a bee in my eye, sir. Bu...
Smithers: [collapsed] Help... me. Riviera: Holy smokes, you need booze.
Riviera: Hi, everybody! Board: [unenthused] Hi, Dr.
Nick. -- At a malpractice board hearing, "Twenty-Two Short Films About Springfield...
Chairman: Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few complaints against you.
Moe: Say, Barn, uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?
Barney: Oh ho, oh yeah, you had a good laugh, Moe. Moe: The results came back today. ...
Moe: [reading a printout] You owe me seventy billion dollars.
Barney: Huh? Moe: No, wait, wait, wait, that's for the Voyager spacecraft....

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