The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Dad, I know I've been a little hard on you the last couple of days.
If I had the strength to lift my arms, I'd give you a hug....
The foul stench of death is upon us! [sniffs] Mmm, hamburgers.
-- Homer's famous nearly-last words, "Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood...
Homer: According to this map, there's a Krusty Burger on an offshore oil rig.
Flanders: That's what you're smelling, Homer! Oh, if it weren't for this blasted fog, we'd be saved....
Krusty: Oh, I'm taking a bath on this. Man: We tried to tell you, these are _unmanned_ oil rigs.
Krusty: Aw, close the damn thing down. No one's ever going to come....
Bart: The beauty of it is, each parking space is a mere one foot narrower -- indistinguishable to the naked eye!
But therein lies the game. Milhouse: I fear to watch, yet I canno...
Skinner: Blast it, woman! You parked too close. Move your car!
Edna: I'm in the lines! You got a problem, go tell your Mama....
Edna: Class, I know there's no way to prove who actually did this, and in our American democracy, everyone is innocent until proven guilty.
Bart: God bless America. Edna: But _my_ classroo...
Martin: It's "photosynthesis"! [angrily] Damn your feeble brain.
Bart: [plaintive] Oh, I couldn't read it. The letters are all blurry....
Lenny: Uh oh...he's done for! Carl: Ehh, don't worry.
The safety glass will protect us. [Gas leaks through the glass] Lenny...
Charlie: Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a _real_ emergency exit!
Burns: Why, that's a _fabulous_ idea! Anything else you'd l...

< previous

29

30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
654
next >