Toggle navigation
Collections
Fun
Jokes
Fortune
Photo
Nicknames
Blog
ﻮﺑﻻگ
Iran
The Simpsons
Home
›
Fortune Cookies
›
The Simpsons
Homer: [reading his fortune] "You will find happiness with a new love.
[out loud] Aw, even the Chinese are against me....
Homer: [unhappy] Well, I guess you'll want to come in.
Mindy: [bright] OK. Homer: [mocking] "OK!" [They sit on the bed] Mindy...
Mindy: What's wrong? Homer: Oh, yeah, like you don't know.
[weeping] We're gonna have sex! Mindy: Oh...well, we don't have to....
Mindy: Homer...you don't have to do anything you don't want to.
Homer: Well, maybe I want to...but then I think about Marge and the kids....
Homer: Oh, baby. Marge: This was a _wonderful_ idea, Homey.
[kisses him] Hey, there's a turkey behind the bed!...
The News On Parade Corporation presents "News On Parade Corporation News".
-- A newsreel's introduction, "$pringfield...
Springfield: City On the Grow. It's a proud day as Springfield is declared one of America's four hundred fastest-growing cities.
And why not? Business is booming! Half the country wears Springfield...
Abe: Hah! The way people act around here, you'd think the streets were paved with gold.
Jasper: They are. -- Logical conclusions, "$pringfield...
Bum: Got any spare change, man? Abe: Yes! And you ain't gettin' it.
Everybody wants something for nothing. [Abe walks into the social security building] I'm old...
Hey! _There's_ something you don't see in a toilet every day.
-- Homer at the power plant, "$pringfield...
< previous
...
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
...
654
next >