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Burns: Honestly, Smithers, I don't know why Harvard even bothers to show up.
They barely even won. Smithers: Their cheating was even more rampant than last year, sir....
Burns: Well, I say let Harvard have its football and academics.
Yale will always be first in gentlemanly club life....
Burns: Oh this might take a while, Smithers. Why don't you get drunk and stumble around comically for my amusement?
Smithers: [taking bottle of booze] I'll be a one-man conga line. -- Th...
Hey, how're ya doing? Welcome to Scenic Waynesport, and remember your visit with a googly-eyed walnut.
[holds up walnut toy] How about a googly-eyed rock? Some nice local squash candy? A stretched-o...
Larry: [running] Hey, Casey Jones, where's this train headed?
Conductor: Springfield. Larry: Yeah, yeah. What state?...
Marge: I can honestly say that was the most fun I've ever had.
The mill, the history, all that gorgeous.....
Can't they get a pole for that sign? -- Homer seeing a hitchhiker, "Burns, Baby Bu
Homer: Ooh! Let's pick him up! Marge: No! What if he's crazy?
Homer: And what if he's not? Then we'd look like idiots....
Hey, you folks are all right. Man, it was rough getting a ride out there.
The only car that stopped was a hearse that thought I fell out....
Marge: Careful of the apple pie on the seat. Abe
Uh-oh! Marge: Grampa, are you sitting on the pie? Abe: I sure hope so. -- "Burns, Baby Bu...
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