The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Larry: Hey, I'm looking for this guy. [shows an old picture of Burns] Anyone know who he is?
Bart: Yeah, sure, we know him. That's Mr. Burns....
Ho, this guy's got more bread than a prison meat loaf.
He's rich, I tell ya. I never seen a place with a walk-in mailbox....
Smithers: [eyeing Larry] Yes? Larry: [sweating] Yeah, uh.
.. Hi, my-my name is Larry. I'm here to see Mr....
Larry: Well, uh... sheesh... uh... I'm a little nervous here.
What I'm trying to say is, I'm... Burns: You're what?...
Larry: Ah, Pop, don't get me wrong; it's great to be here.
But how's a guy like you wind up with a son like me?...
I took Lily to the local cinematorium, where our passions were inflamed by Clark Gable's reckless use of the word "Damn".
[Young Burns and Lily leave the theater, Burns covered in kisses] We sneaked...
Larry: Well, how do ya like that? I have been in a museum.
So, what happened with you and Ma? Burns: Oh, there was a terrible scandal....
Actor: ...you can't just eat the orange and throw the peel away!
A man's not a piece of fruit! Burns: This show was supposed to close last week!...
Larry: Ah, relax. I don't wanna work. I'm so lazy, I took lessons on a player piano.
Homer: Wow, that's really lazy. Larry: Lazy? You're not kiddin'....
Marge: [bored] I think we've heard enough about Larry Burns for one evening.
Homer: Why? It's not like anything interesting happened to anyone else today....

< previous

309

310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
654
next >