The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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Commandant: Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that the state Supreme Court has determined that forcing cadets to cross the Eliminator is a barbaric and malicious practice.
Lisa...
Good job, Simpson, although that's more cursing than I like to hear from a cadet in peacetime.
-- Military school Commandant, "The Secret War of Lisa Simpso...
Commandant: Next up ... Simp-son, Lis-a. [the crowd falls silent.
The cadet leader plays, "Taps....
Cadet #2: We're going to make your life a living hell for the rest of the semester.
Leader: But, graduation's in three hours. Anderso...
The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea.
They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain....
Homer: [nervously] Well, Bart, did you make sure to return all the guns?
Bart: Sir! Yes, Sir! Luckily, I am now trained in six additional forms of unarmed combat, sir!...
Reporter: Ah. So, kids, caught anything? Lisa: Not yet, sir.
Reporter: Uh huh. Uh, what are you using for bait?...
Mutation Caught At Ol' Fishin' Hole \\ * Is Power Plant Responsible?
Fishin' Hole Or Fission Hole? \\ * Burns Denies Responsibility In Fish Flap \\ Count The Eyes, Mr.
Burns! -- The Springfield Shopper headlines, "Two Ca...
Marge: Well, leave it to good ol' Mary Bailey to finally step in and do something about that hideous genetic mutation.
Homer: [snort] Mary Bailey. Well, if I was governor, I'd sure find ...

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