The Simpsons

Tony, you're my agent. You _have_ to do something about this.
...How can it be the same movie if they've changed my character from a convenience store clerk to a jittery eskimo firefighter?...
Apu: There she is: the world's first convenience store!
[points to store on top of mountain] Home...
Apu: He is the benevolent and enlightened president and C.
E.O. of Kwik-E-Mart -- and in Ohio, Stop-O-Mart....
Homer: Well, _that_ was a big bust. Is he _really_ the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
Apu: [growls, reaches towards Homer] Homer: No need to apologize, Apu...
Bart+Lisa: Dad, dad! What did you bring? What did you bring?
Marge: How did it go? Homer: Fine! [looks at Apu] Oh, I mean not good....
Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead!
-- Homer comforts Apu, "Homer and Apu...
Apu: I've got to go down to the Kwik-E-Mart and I'm going to face my demon.
Marge: Oh, that'll work out great! We're out of Lucky Charms....
Apu: Ah, my old Squishee machine. And my scum bucket with fly!
And a whole check list. Woods: Hey, you're Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, aren't you?...
Robber: All right, you. Hand over the cash and don't try any funny stuff.
Woods: Hey, pal, I assure you: if I tried any funny stuff, _you_ would be in hysterics....
Woods: Apu! Apu: Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead.
How I've missed you! I mean -- I think I'm dying. -- "Homer and Apu...