The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Milhouse: Will there be cavemen in heaven? Sunday School Teache
Certainly not! Bart: Uh, ma'am?...
Sunday School Teacher: [very tired] The ventriloquist goes to heaven, but the dummy doesn't.
Bart: [raises his hand] Ooh-ooh-ooh! Me! SST: Bart?...
Marge: Lisa, Bart, what did you two learn in Sunday School today?
Lisa: The answers to deep theological questions. Ba...
Bart: Cool, man, Space Mutants 4. Let me off! Let me off!
Marge: No way, Jose. Homer: Marge, they're only space mutants....
Bart: You guys are sneaking in? Kerny: Yeah, only saps pay to see movies.
Jimbo: Hey, Bart, come on! Bart: But sneaking into movies is practically stealing, man....
Homer: [reading The Bowl Earth Catalog] Wow, look at these bowling balls, Maggie!
Can you think of a better way for Daddy to spend his hard-won fifty bucks?...
Bart: I was wondering. How important is it to be popular?
Homer: I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!...
A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.
-- Homer, "The Telltale Head...
Homer: Ooh, look at this one! The Hammer of Thor! It will sends your pins to.
.. Valhalla? Lisa? Lisa: Valhalla is where Vikings go when they die....
We have no witnesses, no suspects, no leads. If anyone has any information, please dial `O' and ask for the police.
That number again: `O'. -- Chief Wiggum's press conference, "The Telltale Head...

< previous

488

489
490
491
492
493
494
495
496
497
654
next >