The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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Bart: Unckie Herb, what advice would you give to a young boy who would most likely become a bum like yourself?
Herb: Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese. -- "Brother, Ca...
Lisa: Why didn't you write, Unckie Herb? Herb: Hey, if I wrote to you, what was I supposed to say?
Dear Lisa, last night I used a rat for a pillow, thanks to your pop?...
Herb: [rolls a 3] Ventnor Avenue. Lisa: And while on Ventnor Avenue, you'll be staying at the fabulous Hotel Lisa.
A valet will be around shortly to park your thimble. Of course, there i...
Why are we playing games when we got two grand in the bank?
Remember when Homer won the Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Acheivement in the Field of Excellence?...
I think we should get a machine gun. We can use it to hunt game, spell out things, or ring in the New Year!
-- Bart, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
Herb: How would you like to spend $2,000 to give a broken man a second chance?
Homer: Nah. -- Brotherly love, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
It measures the pitch, the frequency, and the urgency of a baby's cry, and then tells whoever's around, in plain English, exactly what the baby's trying to say!
Everything from "Change me" to "Turn o...
Homer: All right, Herb. I'll give you the money, but first you have to forgive me and treat me like a brother.
Herb: Nope. Homer: All right, then just give me the drinking bird. -- Homer and...
Herb: Now I bet you're all wondering what lies under this sheet.
Bart: Not really. We snuck a peek while you were in the john....
Homer: I can't believe we spent $2,000 on this when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.
Herb: Homer, would you stop thinking about your ass?! Homer: I try, but I can't... -- A...

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