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Lisa: [laughs wickedly] Marge: What's so funny? Lisa
Oh, uh ... I was just thinking of a joke I saw on Herman's Head....
Homer: {Mmmmm, Gummi Beers.} [eats one] Hey, Barney, I think you've had enough.
Barney: [lying on a bench under one of the beer taps] Are you crazy?...
Homer: Barney, give me your keys. You're too drunk to drive.
Barney: I'm fine. Homer: OK, you leave me no option....
Homer: [standing on one foot and singing "The Alphabet Song"] W, X, Y, and Z.
Now I know my ABCs, won't you come and play with me....
Marge: Hello? Wiggum: Uh, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news.
Your husband was found DOA. Marge: Oh, my God!...
o Homer, in jail] Hutz: Don't worry, Homer, I've got a foolproof strategy to get you out of here -- surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last.
I tell you, the judge won't k...
Judge: Your license is hereby revoked, and I'd like you to attend traffic school and two months of Alc-Anon meetings.
Homer: Your honor, I'd like that stricken from the record. Judge: No. ...
Lisa: I want the most intelligent hamster you've got.
Clerk: OK....
Lisa: [writing] I propose to determine the answer to the questio
is my brother dumber than a hamster? Bart: Hey Lis, look what I can do!...
Stupid books -- hey, a cupcake! -- Bart passes by the bookcase, "Duffle
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