One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God...

"Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden
and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake,
but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for
you."

"What's a 'man', Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie,
cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He
will look silly aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create
him in such a way that he will satisfy your, ah, physical needs. He'll
be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking
a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to
think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"What's the catch, Lord?"

"Yeah, well... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll
have to let him believe that I made him first... So, just remember...
it's our secret... Woman-to-woman!"