Things We Learn from Hollywood Movies


During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a
strip-club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit
level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.
No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel
to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not
be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night,
you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to
bullets.

If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be
cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep
your mouth shut.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and
wisecracks are your best weapons.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20
men firing at one man.

Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more
closely.

If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German
bullets are unable to penetrate water.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication
systems of any invading alien civilisation.

Freelance helicopter pilots are always eager to accept bookings from
international terrorist organisations - even though the job will
require them to shoot total strangers and will end in their own certain
death as the helicopter explodes in a ball of flames.

Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - specially if any
of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.

All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each
other.

Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage
despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions.

A credit card or a paper clip can pick any lock in seconds - unless
it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the
person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no
lasting damage to an eight year old child.

Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth
birthday.

Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three
days before their retirement.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert
in nuclear fission at age 22.

The more a man and a woman seem to hate each other, the more likely
they will fall in love.