Toggle navigation
Collections
Fun
Jokes
Fortune
Photo
Nicknames
Blog
ﻮﺑﻻگ
Iran
The Simpsons
Home
›
Fortune Cookies
›
The Simpsons
Lisa: Listen, I can take care of everything. All you have to do is unshrink me.
Frink: Unshrink you?...
First-rate work, Bart. This universe you've created is even more impressive than Martin's milk-carton ukulele.
-- Principal Skinner, "Treehouse of Horror VII...
Principal Skinner, wait! *I* created the universe! Give _me_ the gift certificate!
-- Lisa, "Treehouse of Horror VII...
Lisa: Oh, great. I'm stuck in this lousy tub for the rest of my life.
[people stare at her] Shouldn't you people be grovelling?...
Homer: Ah... The old fishin' hole. So peaceful and relaxing, doesn't even matter if I catch a single fish.
[yawns] [pauses, then abruptly springs forward] Come on, you stupid fi...
Oh, my God. Space aliens. Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids!
Eat them! -- Homer faces alien abduction, "Treehouse of Horror VII...
Kang: Silence! We are travellers from a certain nearby ringed planet whose name we'd prefer not to mention.
My name is Kang, and this is my sister Kodos. Kodos: [masculine voice] Hello....
Homer: [gulps] I suppose you want to probe me. Well, might as well get it over with.
[unzips his pants] Kang: [disgusted] Stop!...
Homer: I guess you mean President Clinton. He usually hangs around Washington, D.
C. Kang: President Clin-Ton? Excellent. Homer: Except, um....
Ugh, Bob Dole doesn't need this.
-- Bob Dole being abducted by aliens, "Treehouse of Horror VII...
< previous
...
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
...
654
next >