The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Homer: If you ever find your marbles, come visit us.
Man: Well, how about today? I'm only here voluntarily....
Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em. -- Bart answers the phone, "Stark Raving Dad
Homer: [on the phone with Bart] I'm bringing Michael Jackson home to stay with us for a few days.
[aside] Isn't that cute, he's heard of you. [to phone] Now make sure we have pl...
Bart: [on the phone] Yes, Dad, I solemnly swear I will not tell another living soul.
... No, not even Millhouse....
This is the uh most exciting thing to happen to our uh fair town since the Dalai Lama visited in 1952.
And so, I hereby declare that Route 401, currently known as the Dalai Lama Expressway, will be h...
Lisa: Bart, the entire town is howling for your blood, and before I join them, I have one question.
Today is my birthday. You promised to get me something and... and... I'm afraid to ask...
Dear Bart, I am using the stationery Mom and Dad gave me &l
for my birthday> to inform you that we are now brother and sister in name only....
Bart: I can't write a song, I'm only ten. Man: Only ten?
When I was your age, I had six gold records! -- "Stark Raving Dad...
Bart: Looney Toons, this is what Michael Jackson looks like.
[shows an album] You're nothing but a big fat mental patient....
o the tune of the Colonel Bogey March] Lisa, her teeth are big and green.
Lisa, she smells like gasoline. Lisa, da da da Disa....

< previous

471

472
473
474
475
476
477
478
479
480
654
next >