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I like your attitude. Feisty, yet spineless. -- Monty Burns hires Homer, "I Married Marge
Sir, this man not only failed the aptitude test, he got trapped in a closet on his way out.
-- Smithers voices his objections to the hiring of Homer Simpson, "I Married Marge...
Only in America could I get a job!
-- Homer celebrates being hired to work at SNPP, "I Married Marge...
Burns: Who was that young hellcat, Smithers? Smithe
Homer Simpson, sir. Burns: Simpson, eh? I'll remember that name....
Homer: Starting tomorrow, I'm a nuclear technician!
Dr. Hibbert: Good God! -- A professional opinion, "I Married Marge...
Homer: And tomorrow, I'm going to buy your ring back, then I'm going house-hunting.
Marge: Doesn't your job start tomorrow? Homer: Eh, somebody'll cover for me....
Marge: [goes into labor] Oh! Homer: [rolls up his sleeves] Step aside.
I'll deliver this baby. Dr. H: Uh, why don't you let me handle it, Homer?...
Marge: Homey, isn't he beautiful? Homer: Hey, as long as he's got eight fingers and eight toes, he's fine by me.
-- The birth of Bart, "I Married Marge...
Homer: You know, son, the day you were born, I received the greatest gift a man could have.
As the years went by, your mother and I were blessed twice more....
Lisa: Dad, can I have some money to buy Bart a birthday present?
Homer: [entranced by a TV show of pretty girls dancing provocatively] Mon-ney....
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