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Ralph: ... and when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.
Mrs. Hoover: Thank you, Ralph, very graphic. -- Reading essays in front of the class, ...
The happiest day of my life was three Sundays ago.
Lisa: Oh, Dad! You must have bought me every Malibu Stacy accessory there is!
Homer: Not quite. They were out of Malibu Stacy lunar rovers....
Ooh, perfume! Meryl Streep's Versatility! -- Marge's gift from Homer, "Lisa the Greek
Homer: Boy, I know you're going to like your present.
Bart: [it's a hand-held gizmo with three buttons] [Bart presses each button a few times] Toy...
Marge: Homer, those were very thoughtful presents, but you have to tell me where you got the money from.
Homer: All right, Marge, I'll tell you, but first you have to promise you will no...
Homer: Aren't parents supposed to encourage their kids whenever they show talent?
Marge: But gambling is illegal! Homer: Oh, only in 48 states....
You know, Dad, we've been watching a lot of TV lately.
Maybe the Sunday after the Super Bowl we could hike up to the top of Mount Springfield....
Adult Lisa: My third husband bought me this. [takes off her ring] Gimme some [casino] chips for it!
Clerk: Are you sure, ma'am? Adult Lisa: Don't tell me what to do, sonny. I've bee...
Look around you, Malibu Stacy. All this was bought with dirty money.
Your penthouse, your Alfa Romeo, your collagen injection clinic....
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