The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Mr. Simpson, I presume. -- Very British `Discount Lion Safari' guide, "Old Money
You know, Jasper, they may say she died of a burst ventricle, but I know she died of a broken heart.
-- Grampa mourns Bea's passing, "Old Money...
You can tell she really cared for me. She didn't make me a pallbearer.
-- Grampa watches the pallbearers struggle with the casket, "Old Money...
Homer: I can't tell you how sorry I am, Dad. Grampa
Is someone talking to me? I didn't hear anything....
Hutz: There is one catch... You must spend one night in.
.. a haunted house! Grampa: [gasp!] Hutz: Just kidding....
Why don't I just give you this pen with my phone number on it.
It looks just like a cigar. Isn't that something!...
Grampa: Has it ever occurred to you that old folks deserve to be treated like human beings!
whether they have money or not? Director: Yes, but it passes. -- The retirement home directo...
Oh, Abraham, calm down. I'm not here to scare you.
They've got me haunting a family in Texas. -- Bea's ghost appears, "Old Money...
Hiya. You have reached Doctor Marvin Monroe's anxiety line.
If you have a sullen teenager, press `1'.. NOW! If you are estranged from your spouse, press `2'....
Monroe: It's a special isolation chamber. The subject pulls levers to receive food and water.
The floor can become electrified, and showers of icy water randomly fall on the subject....

< previous

446

447
448
449
450
451
452
453
454
455
654
next >