The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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Homer: Hmm... Bold, refreshing, and something I can't quite put my finger on.
[at the Red Tick Beer brewery, dogs are swimming in the tank] Ma...
Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
-- Homer sets the new standard for family togetherness, "The Springfield File...
Grampa: Oh son, I'm glad to see you! I went for the morning paper and I got lost!
And... Homer: No time for you, old man!...
Homer: Please! Don't hurt me! Alien: [gentle voice] Don't be afraid.
Homer: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!...
Marge: Homer, it's 2 am. What happened? Homer: It was an alien, Marge!
It appeared in front of me and said "Don't be Afraid....
Homer: I'm telling you, I saw a creature from another planet.
Lisa: Maybe you just dreamed it. Homer: Oh yeah? Well, when I came to, I was covered with a sticky, translucent goo....
Lisa: Dad, according to "Junior Skeptic Magazine," the chances are 175 million to one of another form of life actually coming in contact with ours.
Homer: So? Lisa: It's just that the p...
Homer: [gasps, then realizes] Oh, it's Bart. I can't believe it.
I'm being mocked. By my own children. On my birthday....
Oh, it was awful! They set me on a cold, metal table.
Then prodded me with humiliating probes, and then....
Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel!
And he appears every Friday night... like Urkel!...

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