1992 Elections



The Top 10 reasons why Bush should have won again.
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10. Has best selling author in family, his dog.
9. Much taller than Perot or Clinton.
8. Quayle will have four more years of being Nintendo Champion
in the White House game room.
7. Has plan for Americans to pay less taxes: rent hotel room to use
as residence in a no state income tax state. (suggest Texas)
6. Barbara wont have to return George Washington's wig to the Smithsonian.
5. Not involved in savings and loans scandal like his son.
4. Read my lips, I wont raise taxes...again.
3. Qualye can run in '96 to continue consecutive impeccable Republican
leadership.
2. Biological father of Murphy Brown's baby.
1. Winner of Japanese Up-Chuck Contest.



The top 10 reasons why Bill Clinton won
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10. Better do-nothing-president than Bush or Perot.
9. Looks older and wiser by bleaching hair. Also, in order not to look
like Quayle's age.
8. Only joined all white golf country club for the free umbrellas in
the drinks.
7. First Elvis impersonator president.
6. Ambulance chasing wife would make a better looking First Lady.
5. The U.S. wont enter any more wars, so he wont have to dodge draft
again. (even though draft is illegal now)
4. Good boy scout: helps old ladies cross the street even when they dont
want to.
3. Gore will replace Quayle as the country's back-up quarterback.
2. Eats his Wheaties everyday.
1. Read my lips, I never inhaled.



The top 10 reasons why Ross Perot should have won
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10. Wont have to pay Clinton's tax on rich. (especilly for Perot)
9. Great "problem solver" president. Always solves difficulties by eating
can of spinach.
8. Wont quit presidency until after the 2nd year. (he'll come back the 4th)
7. Save taxpayer's money. Instead of using Air Force One on trips, he'll
fly over using Dumbo-like ears.
6. Running mate is a famous personality that is capable of taking over
the presidency if something happens to Perot.
5. First president to fire congress.
4. Lives five blocks from Arkansas and knows that Clinton's experience
as govenor of a small state is IRRELEVANT for being president of the
United States. (The govenor of Alaska has about the same experience.)
3. Use his own money to hire commandoes to kick other countries' ass
instead of using US soldiers.
2. Larry King Live would broadcast from the White House more often.
1. Everyone knows that every munchkin has the powers of the Wizard and
the Good Witch of the North on their side.