The Top 15 Florida Excuses For Holding Up The Election

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The Top 15 Florida Excuses For Holding Up The Election

The Top 15 Florida Excuses for Holding Up the Election
by Chris White


15> Dangerous Metamucil shortage caused by misunderstood TV
reports of "many irregularities in Florida."

14> Booths in Cuba stay open until Fidel says it's time to close.

13> "Help! I've voted and I can't get up!"

12> "Give us 'Golden Girls: The Movie', and you'll get your damn
President!"

11> "Aaaaaiiiieeeeeeee! There are 'gators in the ballot box!!!"

10> Still waiting for Elian's absentee ballot to be "rescued" from
Donato's closet.

9> Jeb Bush can't decide whether to help his brother or pay him
back for a lifetime of noogies.

8> Payback for all those jokes about being "America's penis."

7> Jimmy Johnson hair fumes *still* addling voters.

6> Easy Bush victory disrupted by unfortunate large number of
easily-understood ballots.

5> Gore voters "confused" by ballot design need time to prepare
snappy answers to the question, "And you accused BUSH of being
stupid?!?"

4> "Que?"

3> Waiting for Walt's head to thaw so he can cast the deciding
vote.

2> Ballot inspectors are stuck behind blue-haired drivers going
20 MPH in the wrong lane with a turn signal constantly on.


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Florida Excuse
for Holding Up the Election...


1> "Hush up, now! Matlock's on!!"





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