You Might Be A Democrat If

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You Might Be A Democrat If

  • You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.

  • You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.

  • The closest you've ever actually been to a rain forest is a Sting concert.

  • You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.

  • You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.

  • You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity.

  • You've never had to worry about marginal tax rates.

  • You have to use the term "mean spirited" in every sentence when talking about welfare reform.

  • You actually expect to collect Social Security.

  • You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.

  • You have a "Run, Jesse Run" bumper sticker on your diesel Volvo.

  • You think the Great Society has actually worked.

  • You got teary eyed during the film "The American President."

  • You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.

  • You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.

  • You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.

  • You've tried to get in touch with Hillary's broker.

  • You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.

  • You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.

  • You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.

  • You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations.

  • You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.

  • You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O'Rourke guy.

  • You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.

  • You know at least one Vegan.

  • You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.

  • You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.

  • You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs.

  • You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds.

  • You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood.

  • You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).

  • You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heros.

  • You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash.

  • You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars.

  • You think Al Gore is the second most powerful person in Washington.

  • You actually think that poverty can be abolished.

  • You think that Joan Baez had something to say.

  • You admire the Swedish welfare system.

  • You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."

  • You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%.

  • You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.

  • You know that Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.

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