The Letter "D" Leaves Sesame Street



NEW YORK--A spokesperson for the letter D announced
Monday that the consonant is withdrawing sponsorship from
Sesame Street following a Children's Television Workshop
announcement that a homosexual muppet will soon join the
show's cast.

* * * "The letter D is proud to have brought you many
wonderful Sesame Street episodes throughout the program's
28-year history," said Patricia Willis, public-relations
director for D. "But the letter D does not condone the sort
of morally questionable lifestyles that Sesame Street is
advocating with the introduction of this new character.
It can no longer in good conscience associate itself with
the show."

* * * Willis said D's withdrawal is effective immediately, and
applies to both capital and lower-case versions of the letter.

* * * The gay muppet, "Roger," will be introduced on Sesame
Street Dec. 23, CTW director Leslie Charren said. Thus far,
no other sponsors have pulled out, though the number seven
has requested an advance tape of the episode before it
makes a decision.

* * * Many public-television insiders believe D's withdrawal
was motivated by a desire not to alienate religious
conservatives, a section of the population that employs the
letter frequently.

* * * "D is for, among other things, demagoguery, dogma and
doctrine, words crucial to right-wing groups like the Christian
Coalition," said Yale University political-science professor J.
Wright Franklin. "It is likely that D felt it could ill afford to
offend such a large segment of its users."

* * * While a long-term replacement for D has not yet been
secured by Sesame Street, the number three will temporarily
fill in for it in a number of the show's animated shorts. Other
pieces will simply skip from C to E, with vocalists stretching
out C into two syllables to match the rhythm of the alphabet
song.

* * * Sesame Street is stung by the sudden departure of its
longtime supporter. Speaking to reporters, cast member
Cookie Monster said: "Me disappointed letter D choose to
end relationship with Sesame Street due to pressure from
extremely vocal minority. We accused of endorsing deviant
lifestyle. Me say homosexuality natural, not immoral.
Diversity and enrichment. That's good enough for me."






From "The Onion"