Once there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither Bush, the Republican candidate, nor Kerry, the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. Therefore it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the manly way to settle things. The candidate with the most fish at the end of the week would win.

It was decided that the contest would take place on a remote, cold lake in Wisconsin. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification.

At the end of the first day Kerry returned to the starting line with 10 fish. Soon Bush returned with zero fish. At the end of the second day Kerry came in with 20 fish. Bush returned again with none.

That evening Dick Cheney got together secretly with Bush and said, "I think Kerry is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-bitch. I want you go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing; just spy on him and see if he is cheatin' in some way."

The next night (after Kerry comes in with 50 fish) Cheney says to Bush, "Well, what about it? Is Kerry cheatin?"

"He sure is, Dick," says Bush with a smirk. "He's cutting holes in the ice."