This was in the “Bob Levey’s Washington” column in the Washington Post. Every year he compiles and prints the “Best T-shirts of the Summer”:

1) (around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won

2) So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

3) I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy

4) God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends

5) If They Don’t Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain’t Going

6) At My Age, I’ve Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All...
I Just Can’t Remember It All

7) My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips

8) I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do

9) (Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah

10)If It’s Called Tourist Season, Why Can’t We Hunt Them?

11)Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount

12)Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog

13)No, It Doesn’t Hurt (on a “well-tattooed gentleman”)

14)(on the back of a passing motorcyclist)

If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off

15)I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We’re OK Now

16)(Over the outline of the state of Minnesota)

My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor

17)Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.

18)What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It’s All About

19)I Didn’t Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian

20)(on the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party (on the back) With a $25,000 Cover Charge

21)Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich

22)Liberal Arts Major...Will Think For Money

23)Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional

24)IRS—Be Audit You Can Be

25)Gravity...It’s Not Just a Good Idea. It’s the Law.

26)If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen

27)Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship

28)The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt

29)If At First You Don’t Succeed, Skydiving Isn’t For You

30)Old Age Comes at a Bad Time

31)In America, Anyone Can Be President. That’s One of the Risks You Take.

32)First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order.