The Perfect Employee?

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the
report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd
numbered lines.

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Funny Thoughts
"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
- Robert Benchley
-------------------------------------------------------------

QUICK WIT:

Teacher: "Well, at least there's one thing I can say about
your son."

Father: "What's that?"

Teacher: "With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating."

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Interesting Facts

1) In February, the average temperature in the high Arctic is -34 C.
2) Built in 1697, the Frankford Avenue Bridge which crosses Pennypack
Creek
in Philadelphia is the oldest U.S. bridge in continuous use.
3) Flies mate during the first 5 days of life.
4) Each link of the anchor chain on the Titanic was about 80 kg.
5) Polar bears have more problems with overheating than they do with
cold.
Even in very cold weather, they quickly overheat when they try to run.
6) The Great Wall stretches for 6,693 kilometers across North China.
7) The moose is the largest member of the deer family. Its scientific
name
is Alces alces.
8) Gandhi was born in 1869.
9) A new born baby breathes five times faster than an adult man.
10) Johnson & Johnson's "BAND-AID" brand adhesive bandages have been
around
for 75 years.

Interesting Facts

1) Levi Strauss first wanted to sell his denim material to the miners
who
were searching for gold in 1850, in order to make tents and covers for
their
wagons.
2) Noah Ketchup, an American Indian, began selling the tomato sauce
which
his wife used to make. Unfortunately, he made little money from his
invention.
3) John Montague, the fourth Earl of Sandwich, liked gambling but since
he
did not want to stop to eat a meal, he invented sandwiches in the
second
half of the 18th century.
4) Otis P. Walkman's first walkman was rather poor - the device had to
be
pulled behind the wearer on a small wheeled cart.
5) The majority of the men of the 1849 Gold Rush never came back home
and
died in poverty.
6) Thomas Edison, a famous American inventor, was almost deaf, but did
not
want to be operated on because he said his deafness helped him
concentrate
better.
7) The first bicycles were bumpy and had iron rims fitted to wooden
wheels.
8) When bees detect the source of food, they return to the hive and
dance
waving their abdomens to indicate to other bees that they had found
food.
9) If a man is stung by 500 bees, he can die.
10) After eating onion, you should eat two teaspoons of honey in order
to
remove the unpleasant smell of the onion.

1) Jeanne Louise Calment of France, is the oldest fully authenticated
human
that has ever lived. She lived for 122 years and 164 days.
2) Frogs drink and breathe through their skin.
3) Elephants spend approximately 75% of their time feeding. They eat
about
200kg of food per day and produce about 100kg of dung.
4) An elephant's trunk contains more than 50,000 muscles.
5) A car is stolen every 30 seconds in the United States.
6) It is estimated that only 5-10% of the worlds information has been
digitized.
7) When horses lift their heads up high to look at something, they're
looking far into the distance. To see things that are closer, they
lower
their heads.
8) A typical lightning bolt is four to eight centimetres wide and 3
kilometres long.
9) The wristwatch was invented in 1904 by Louis Cartier.
10) When honey is swallowed, it enters the blood stream within 20
minutes.


1) Coffee is the world's most popular stimulant.
2) Bees do not have ears.
3) The chocolate chip cookie was invented in 1933.
4) When John Lennon divorced Julian Lennon's mother Cynthia, Paul
McCartney
composed "Hey Jude", to cheer Julian up.
5) The blue whale is the largest animal on earth.
6) The largest known kidney stone weighed 1.36 kilograms.
7) You can keep mice on a table without a cage because mice are afraid
to
jump off high vertical drops.
8) There are about 420 seats on the standard 747 jumbo jet.
9) The number 4 is the only number in the English language that has the
same
number of letters in its name as its meaning.
10) By age sixty, most people have lost half of their taste buds.


1) Air pollution may contribute to two percent of all deaths in the US, some
50,000 cases per year.2) Lemon sharks grow a new set of teeth every two weeks.
3) There is a course offered at the Univeristy of San Diego, "An
Introduction to Sand Castle Building."4) Belonephobia is the fear of needles.
5) A soccer ball has 32 panels.
6) The city of London was lit by gaslights for the first time in 1807.
7) The fallopian tubes are named for Italian anatomist Gabriel Fallopius.
8) The speed of sound is known as Mach 1.9) The Nile catfish swims upside down.
10) England and Portugal have never had a war with each other.

Interesting Facts
1) The D.C. in Washington D.C. stands for "District of Columbia."
2) Statistics prove that deaf people live longer than hearing people.
3) One third of Canada's population is located within 160 km radius of Toronto.
4)Construction started on the Tower of London in 1078.
5) Elizabeth I of Russia (1762) had over 15,000 dresses.
6) American Samuel F. B. Morse invented the morse code.
7) The world's first iron bridge was built in 1782 at Coalbrookdale, England.
8) Elephants sleep about two hours a day.
9) Queen Catherine Howard, the fifth wife of Henry VIII, practiced her own
execution with an axe and block in her cell.
10) McDonalds uses beef extract to flavor their french fries.
1) Jeanne Louise Calment of France, is the oldest fully authenticated human
that has ever lived. She lived for 122 years and 164 days.
2) Frogs drink and breathe through their skin.
3) Elephants spend approximately 75% of their time feeding. They eat about
200kg of food per day and produce about 100kg of dung.
4) An elephant's trunk contains more than 50,000 muscles.
5) A car is stolen every 30 seconds in the United States.
6) It is estimated that only 5-10% of the worlds information has been digitized.
7) When horses lift their heads up high to look at something, they're
looking far into the distance. To see things that are closer, they lower
their heads.8) A typical lightning bolt is four to eight centimetres wide and 3
kilometres long.9) The wristwatch was invented in 1904 by Louis Cartier.
10) When honey is swallowed, it enters the blood stream within 20 minutes