Top Ten Signs You're an Iranian Girl

10. No matter how many sit-ups you do, you still have that little
pouch of stomach sticking out from all the 'pollo' you were fed
since you were a baby
9. The first thing you do when you turn thirteen is get rid of your
unibrow.
8. The second thing is to bleach your hair blond
7. The third thing is to add strawberry highlights.
6. No matter how successful you are in your career and social life,
your mother's friends still cackle : "Khob, key shoharesh midi?"
(when is she going to get married?)
5. You keep getting set up with fat hairy iranian "doctors" (then
you find out he is actually a real estate agent).
4. Your biological clock has been tick-tick-ticking since you
learned how to tell the time.
3. You think you're the most beautiful/stylish girl in the room.
When your boyfriend makes eyes at that catherine zeta-jones
lookalike, you meow: "I heard she's the town slut!"
2. With the first beats of bAbA Karam, an invisible force springs
you up from your seat and makes your hips swivel to the rhythm
until you make Elvis turn in his grave.
And the number one sign you're an Iranian Girl:
1. Waxing, Waxing, and Some more Waxing!

Top Ten Signs You're an Iranian Guy

10. You have an Intravenous bottle attached to your bed injecting
you with chelokabAb so that your chelokabAb/blood level doesn't
titter dangerously low during the night.
9. Your idol is Al Pacino in 'Scarface'.
8. You introduce yourself to blondes at nightclubs as
'half-Italian, half-Spanish'
7. Your name is Abdolghassem but for some reason your business card
reads 'Tony'
6. You will dump your neurosurgeon iranian girlfriend in a second
if you think you had a tenth of a chance with that fat polish chick
who sprays "Obsession" in the mall for a living. (But she's
blonde!!!!)
5. You are in your seventh year in "pre-med" at the University.
4. After the seventh year you switch to "pre-law"
3. After that you decide to go into real estate.
2. You own a BMW that's so old it won't start (but at least you get
to say you drive a BMW at parties!!!!)

And the number one sign you are an Iranian Guy:
1. Hair, Hair, and More Hair


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Top 25 Signs You're an Iranian Girl

25. You are either a pharmacy student or pharmacist.
24. You've been dancing the same way all your life!
23. Your day consists mostly of gossiping--and then more gossiping.
22. Your skirts get shorter and shorter as you get older and older.
21. You think you were "wasted"...or "Haroom shodee" when you got
married...
20. You were ready to get married since the age of 10.
19. Your all uptight about what your daughter wears at first, but in 6
months you'll be dressing worse!
18. Your constantly worried what your friends might think of you...
17. You'd think it'd kill ya to shave your legs!!!!!!
16. You flirt with Persian guys but then call them losers..
15. You say you are tired of the Persian community, but yet 99.999% of
the friends you invite to your party are Persian.
14. Your parents only find out about your boyfriend the night of your
wedding...
13. Your always dragged on to the dance floor for weddings...
12. Your biggest fear is not to get married...
11. Waxing, Waxing, and Some more Waxing!
10. No matter how many sit-ups you do, you still have that little
pouch of stomach sticking out from all the 'pollo' you were fed since
you were a baby
9. The first thing you do when you turn thirteen is get rid of your
unibrow.
8. The second thing is to bleach your hair blond
7. The third thing is to add strawberry highlights.
6. No matter how successful you are in your career and social life,
your mother's friends still cackle : "Khob, key shoharesh midi?"
5. You keep getting set up with fat hairy Iranian "doctors" (then you
find out he is actually a real estate agent or works in
downtown).
4. Your biological clock has been tick-tick-ticking since you learned
how to tell the time.
3. You go for American guys because you can't get a Persian one.
2. With the first beats of bAbA Karam, an invisible force springs you
up from your seat and makes your hips swivel to the rhythm until you
make Elvis turn in his grave.
1. You can relate to at lease ONE thing on this list...

Top 25 Signs You're an Iranian Guy

25. You have an Intravenous bottle attached to your bed injecting you
with chelokabob so that your chelokabAb blood level doesn't titter
dangerously low during the night.
24. Your idol is Al Pacino in 'Scarface'.
23. You introduce yourself to blondes at nightclubs as 'half-Italian,
half-Spanish'
22. Your name is Abdolghassem but for some reason your business card
reads 'Tony'
21. You will dump your neurosurgeon Iranian girlfriend in a second if
you think you had a tenth of a chance with that fat polish chick who
sprays "Obsession" in the mall for a living. (But she's blonde!!!!)
20. You are in your seventh year in "pre-med" at the University.
19. After the seventh year you switch to "pre-law"
18. After that you decide to go into real estate.
17. You own a BMW that's so old it won't start (but at least you get
to say you drive a BMW at parties!!!!)
16. Hair, Hair, and More Hair!
15. Your friends names are Tony, Mike, and Bob, but they can't speak a
word of English!
14. You talk to your friends on the cell phone even though you can see
them in the distant!
13. Your only cure for any illness is "Chai nabat"!
12. YOU BLAME THE REVOLUTION ON EVERYONE EXCEPT YOURSELVES!
11. You were supposedly a doctor in Iran.
10. You love gourmeh sabzi!
9. You tell everyone that your parents were very close friends of the
Shah.
8. You constantly remind your kids to eat as much as you can when you
go "Meh-moony"
7. Your always asking fellow Persians about their income, and how much
they both their car, house, business...and so on
6. You make Turkish jokes even though your own parents or grandparents
were Tork.
5. Every day you have a new cell phone, which is always in your hand
or hanging out your pocket just so people can see that you have one!
4. One word: HAIR TRANSPLANT--God Bless the Bosley Institute &
Propecia!
3. NO ONE CAN PRONOUNCE YOUR NAME PROPERLY!!
2. You think Persian girls are ugly but that's only because you can't
get any!!
1. You can relate to 3 or more things on this list...