One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home
and think of story and then conclude the moral of that story ...

The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their
story and little Suzy raises her hand.

"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck
and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a
big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."

When the teacher asks for the moral of the story, Suzy replies, "Don't keep
all your eggs in one basket"

Next is little Lucy ... "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we
take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of
the 12 eggs hatched."

... Teacher asks for the moral of the story ... Lucy replies "Don't count
your eggs before they're hatched."

Last is little Johnny ... "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, his plane
was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with
only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank
the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100
Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of
bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on
his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

Teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to
his story ... Johnny replies, "Don't fuck with uncle Ted when he's been
drinking!"