The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race
realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were
going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and
decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They
would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the
world and which ever side's dog won would be entitled to
dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its
arms.

The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler
bitches in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest
Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest
puppy from each litter, removed his siblings which gave him all
the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years
came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.
Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and
nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up
with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund.
Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there
was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with
the Russian dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund
came out of it's cage and slowly waddled over towards the
Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of it's cage
and charged the American dachshund. But, when it got close
enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened it's
mouth and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was
nothing left at all of the Russian dog.

The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in
disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We
had our best people working for five years with the meanest
Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and the biggest
meanest Siberian wolves."

"That's nothing", an American replied. "We had our best plastic
surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a
Dachshund."