HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY



1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT

A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.



2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM, DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.



3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT

THAT SUPER SIZED.



4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."



5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS

GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.



6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."



7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."



8. DON'T USE PUNCTUATION



9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.



10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.



11. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."



12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.



13. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME.



14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA & PLAY A TAPE OF

JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY.



15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR

PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.



16. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, ROCK HARD



17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON, I WON! 3RD

TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"



18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT,

YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"



19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE

GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."



AND THE FINAL WAY TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY.......



20. SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK, EVEN IF THEY

SENT IT TO YOU.