Forwarded to Mohanes Anvari with all respects.
looooooooooooool

Parisa J Holmes!!!


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Comprehending Engineers - Take One
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Two engineering students were walking across
campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great
bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
walking along yesterday minding my own business when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good
choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

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Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
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To the optimist, the glass is half full. To
the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer,
the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

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Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
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A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been
waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but
I've never seen such ineptitude!
"The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the
greenskeeper. Let's have a word
with him." [dramatic pause]
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group
ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a
group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our club house from
a fire last year, so we always let them play
for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will
say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to
contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's
anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys
play at night?"

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Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
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There was an engineer who had an exceptional
gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company
loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years
later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly
impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion
dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else
to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation,
they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of
their problems in the past.The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.
He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he
marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component
of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is".
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his
service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark $1 Knowing where to put it $49,999
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

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Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
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What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build
targets.

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Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
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Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One
said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the
joints," Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run
a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

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Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
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"Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet."
----- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

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Comprehending Engineers-Take Eight
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing
whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of
the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like
both."
"Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a
mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with
the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work
done."

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Comprehending Engineers - Take Nine
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An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called
out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
it
to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and
turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you
want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a
week
and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time
for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."