IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact
the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m.
and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the
pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?"
I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our
phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages
by email.(Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase
when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction
unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was
necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So
I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the
signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would
have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently
had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request
the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer
were being hit by cars and she didn't want
them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and
ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth
are blind people doing driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker
who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word
was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged her power
strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her
system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in
it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered
that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To
which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."