ALFA
Always Looking For Another
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DAEWOO
Does Any Engtineer Wanna Own One?
Dangerous And Energy-Wasting Oriental Object
DODGE
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FERRARI
Fast, Exciting, Racy, Red, And Really Impractical
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
FORD
backwards: Driver Returns On Foot
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
Flip Over Read Directions (Festiva)
GM
General Maintenance
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive...
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
KIA
Kick It Again
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW
Virtually Worthless
VW BEETLE
Visually Weird, But Everyone Enjoys The Look, Eh?
Seth Croston Barber <kn1ght@cyberis.net>
Last modified: Fri Jan 07 09:48:57 PDT 2000